Me and my Selfish Boss
A narcissist comes across as charming, charismatic, and confident,” he says. “He seems like the kind of person you want to work for—it’s only later that you see the dark side.” And the dark side isn’t pretty. Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of entitlement and require constant admiration. They are quick to claim credit for others’ achievements and blame colleagues for their own failures. They care only about their own success, and they’re willing to take advantage of others to get what they need. In short, they’re incredibly difficult to work for.
Narcissists, have a “strong ego ideal—a vision of who they think they should be. They are controlled by the shame of not living up to this ideal.” Productive narcissists are often creative strategists who see the “big picture” and find meaning in the risky challenge of changing the world and leaving behind a legacy. It will serve you in the long run to make an effort to “understand who your boss wants to be” and take steps to “help him live up to that ideal”.
The worst thing you can do to a narcissistic individual is to criticize, challenge, or undermine him
If you do, he will react in an aggressive and combative way. And he will seek revenge.” If you need to make a particular business case, framing your argument around what is good for your manager’s image and career. “Your boss doesn’t care what is good for the company
However, if you’re able to demonstrate that a certain strategy portends a disaster (or a victory) for your boss, you’re much more likely to win him over. “Narcissists are constantly trying to figure out, what does this mean for me?”
Indulging in workplace gossip is rarely a wise move. When your boss is a narcissist, it can be dangerous. “Be very careful,” . “These people tend to be paranoid and see enemies everywhere.” Anything you say will likely get back to your boss, “Narcissists are constantly trying to collect information about what other people think of them
Even if you successfully employ the above tactics, chances are that working for a narcissist will take a toll on your satisfaction at work. Carefully consider whether you want to continue working for this person. Of course, quitting your job or getting a new boss isn’t always possible—or the answer. “It’s a personal decision, and some people are more tolerant than others